Dad 2022. That Inner Might.

I sit on the stairs with you on my lap, your spine against my belly, and I lean back so both of us can look up at the skylight. It is late afternoon and there is music playing in the house, an REM mix, the song about happy people. I don’t know how far you can see just yet, but we are both looking at that window in the ceiling above us, you with a little lion pacifier in your mouth, and me repeating, in a whisper, you are strong.

You are strong. You were strong in your mother’s belly, and you are strong out here in the world. Your arms, your intention, your eyes, your grasp, your bodily squirms—there is something charged and bold in you, and this is a very good thing. There are lots of ways to be strong, and you are off to a good start. Strength is something I will try to teach you, but it’s also something you will find inside, and sometimes it comes by surprise. Strength is resolve, it is the ability to withstand, to persevere, to speak and act and be buoyant in a storm. There are many moments in life when we need it, that inner might. I’ve needed it when I’m running the last mile of a race, and I’ve needed it when I’ve had to say I’m wrong and I’m sorry. I’ve needed it when I’ve had to finish difficult things, and I’ve needed it when I’ve lost people that mattered. I’ve needed it when I’m scared and I’ve needed it when I’ve been ill-treated and I’ve needed it when I’ve had to be there for other people who are hurting. Truth be told, I haven’t always found it. There are times when it’s eluded me. But this happens to everyone now and again. We can’t always be strong, and that’s okay, too.

I suppose the most important thing I’ve learned about strength is that it’s possible to surround yourself with people who make you stronger. People who supercharge your courage and resolve, so you can find strength and your voice more often when the occasion demands. Your mom makes me stronger. I’m a superhero now compared to the man I was before she and I met. My own parents have made me stronger. My friends make me stronger. And in your own way, you have already made me stronger. Each new day, in so many ways, I discover more strength inside, and sometimes it comes by surprise, like here on the stairs under the light.